Dearest FY. . .

I may not be in the position to judge you, for we don’t feel the same,
We don’t think the same, we don’t talk the same and we don’t see things the same.

We are two different individuals with different mindsets and principles.
Maybe stepping twice or thrice backwards from each other would be the best solution to heal our feud.

But silence won’t help us, it will somehow fuel our rageful hearts and before we know it, our friendships are already gone wasted.

Indeed you are one of the most beloved people in my life and I endeared you as a brother. I hope you know exactly when and how to approach a person whose heart is in full rage, caused by his emotional dilemmas.

With no doubts, I know that you only want what’s the best for me and for my soul as well, to the extend that you already crossed the line, I’m talking about limitations.
And I hope you know what I mean. We’re both grown ups and just what I only asks from you is please respect my feelings and decisions.
Just like you I am sensitive too, especially today, where I don’t know where to go and to whom I could possibly turn to. For number of instances you had become my refuge. The only shoulder that I can freely cry on.

I cannot change overnight, I’ve been trying to minimize everything now, and maybe you don’t see how I dramatically changed from a hooker into a church-goer.

I admitted everything, it wasn’t you, it was me, blame me for everything.
There are times that I can’t see things clearly or I speak with lustful and unrefined words that pissed you off!
But that’s me with no pretensions, just like you I am not a perfect person, I am prone to make mistakes too.

I don’t want everything to go to waste; we don’t come this far just to leave each other in the middle of thin air.

The last time I saw you, I wanted to say something, just to clarify every strands of the issue. But I can’t find the right words to say, the right timing to start talking. And when the right feeling came, you are already sleeping.
I have to leave that day; I left the house with weary heart and teary eyes.
Yes it is the consequences that came after my reckless actions.
No matter how much I regretted that night, I can’t simply turn back the hands of time.

Maybe it wasn’t happened without any valid reasons, for in there is no accident in this world.

I honestly don’t know how you’re going to react to this.

But we’re friends and you probably understand the things that words can’t say!