....For I Am Not Like You!

I envy you for you were born normal, unlike me; I am sick and impaired.
Perhaps you had never experienced how to be so frail, how to be so weak and how to be so helpless.
Indeed you are so lucky you’re not like me.

But I dare you; have you ever fall in love so deep that you could almost die in an instant if you lost that someone whom you treasure the most.
Have you ever fall asleep with a smile in your lips knowing that tomorrow will be another day and another life with that special person in your life?
despite of every ordeals that you have to conquer, to fight for your feelings and for your believes.

You simply don’t know the feelings of being someone like me.
Call me a loser,
A bastard,
A freak,


I won’t fight back because I know that in some ways, I am way much better than you!
But saying such thing won’t lessen my pain, it won’t simply drive away the burden that I have inside me.

Yes maybe I am very emotional in a way I explain my feelings, the way I fight for this cliché thing called love!

Words are not enough to just simply explains how it works or how it cause things to fall down and crash, how it caused me to lose my whole entire being as a man.

I just don’t know what to do, for I love you so.
Before I don’t even have you in my vocabulary, now you’re the only thing here in my mind.
The name I always want to utter, your scent that lingers, your kiss that has took my breath away a thousand times.

Now I am being asked to let go of you.
To despise the only person that has conquered my whole being.
To just throw away the one who cause me to smile and cry at the same time.
My source of joy and despairs.

Please could you please spare my happiness?
I had left my home and all the comforts that I have, just to be with this person.
Now I am being forced to give up this relationship.

My heart is weary and exhausted; don’t know what the future will bring forth for me.
For as long as I don’t hurt anyone or for as long as I am not alone in this battle, I will fight for what I believe.

A friend ask me; “if all the normal people in this planet can’t understand us, do you think the good Lord God will understand us why we are like this?”

I replied; “I believe He understand us, for he will not created us and just left and despise us for we are not normal, I believe that we are not just a mere flaws of His creations”.



Pity for those who can’t understand us.