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Sunday, August 3, 2008


August 01, 2008 12:00 a.m.

24 hours before my 26th Birthday, I had numerous things in my head.
Some future plans and some flashbacks of my failed businesses.
I was about to write things for this entry but emotions pours like a heavy rain. I lay down as my eyes becomes cloudy and my chin starts to rattles. 
I look up the ceiling and then I slowly close my eyes, I tried to empty my mind, and start searching for some possible answers to my questions.

Then I let my imagination fly, far away from our house.
To a place where the entire village is no longer visible to my eyes.
Ahhhhh… the air was so fresh and cold. I saw different lights and colors and then I heard different voices; 
“Ramon you’re not a loser”.
“Stop crying I love you”.
“Go on you can do it”.
“Give ‘em your best shot, punch ‘em”.
“I miss you please comeback”.
“Touch my bum, that’s life, chickie, chickie”.

And then I chase every voices that I heard, they were familiar to me.
I just want to see their faces just to make sure it was them.
Ah, finally I saw them; they were waving at me; 
“Cheer up move on, make a new start”
Each of them stared at me and cast me with their sweetest smile, the most sincere one. 
“Up you should go big boy, aim higher”.
Then I decided to open my eyes, I didn’t mean to cry, my eyes and my face were wet. 
I was sobbing that time.

Well, I guess it’s true that life is what we make it; 
They often say that we are the author of our own destiny but in my case destiny writes for itself.
Some couple of things came to me like;
“Time is always the essence; you cannot expect to have the same amount of sunshine every morning”.
"Grass isn’t green everyday", "and like a bird that once broke his wing, 
I need to find ways to heal myself somehow"

In some ways I know that I cannot expect the same people that they will always be there for me. I guess I need to finally clean up my closet.
Discard everything that is useless and keep only those who were regarded as valuables. In my life I always didn’t get what I want. Now I guess I have to do some drastic moves to finally obtain what I want.
No more drama, no more nice ME.
Aim straight to my target and then shoot it right away…

“Life is a bitch so learn how to fuck!”…..


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